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For years now, I have been on the fence about having a child. I’ve met and heard of many women in similar situations. We’ve been unsure about motherhood, but thought a partner would come along and we’d decide together, or some other version of this dilemma. Yet, as women of a new era, many of us have been focused on our own education, growth, careers, artistic endeavors, etc., and time has gone by. Whether aware of it or not, our biological clocks kept on ticking as well.
Life has not turned out the way I had imagined in my childhood fantasies. I am 42 and single, with no children. In the summer and fall of 2009 I took on the wide and deep personal research project of deciding whether I actually want to have a child or not. Although I still have reservations, I have decided that . . . .
I INDEED DO WANT TO HAVE A CHILD.
My primary reservations are that I have a burning desire and vision to work as a speaker, writer, workshop leader and activist related to particular women’s issues and I feel ready to act on this now.
Yet, I really do have the rest of my life to do this, and don’t have the rest of my life to bear a child, so I’m willing to be patient and create a family first.
I can imagine many scenarios with a male or female, romantic or platonic, individual or couple. It may end up being a situation with me and one other person, yet, I would ideally like to have a third parent on board somehow in order to make the work of parenting more balanced and manageable.
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